Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
