He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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