Yo dont text me then not text me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
FUCK WHALES
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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