i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
