what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
