My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
