do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So apparently I’m into choking now
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
