Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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