Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Two words: blizzard sex
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