there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
