Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if only i could text you this smell
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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