with your own penis?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
