Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up under a house in Key West
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
