I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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