I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
