arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
