Kiss
Puke
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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