I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
