Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
