You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
