Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
