I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
