How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
