im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
