sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
