You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
