I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You smell like stripper and shame
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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