the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
