I'm going to jail i love you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
