I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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