It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
