What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
