You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
