garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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