Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
