I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
