I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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