i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
