I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
