Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
