WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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