This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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