Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
