'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
