I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
