somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
