I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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