Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
