Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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