he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
