...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
