I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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