You're so nebulous sometimes
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Success! We fucked roommates!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
