i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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