I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
